6th November 2023
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After the heady heights of ’16 Flavoured Hot Cross Buns Ranked’ earlier this year, I knew it was time to return to my true calling- rating seasonal dishes. This time it was the turn of the humble mince pie. I committed to my art, sometimes having multiple mince pies a day. I even started having mince pies for breakfast (definitely not because I’d run out of cereal during the last week of term or anything). My painstaking work has lead me to this definitive guide for you to consult during the festive period.
Before we get started, and honourable mention to the two mince pies I scoffed too quickly to even find out where they were from. I was just too starving after the CathSoc Carol Concert and Bedford Santa Run to take a picture.
I will also add that the value for money is dependent on if the pie was purchased as part of a multipack or in a cafe.

Price: £2.99 for 6 (50p per pie)
Value for money: 3/5
Taste: 1/5
Overall: 1.5/5
I thought these pies were horrible. They were unbelievably dry and crumbly. It felt like each pie had three raisins in them, and the Speculoos flavour did absolutely nothing for me. It was a genuine struggle to eat all 6.

Price: £1.50 for 4 (37.5p per pie)
Value for money: 4/5
Taste: 2/5
Overall: 2.5/5
These pies are great value for money, but terribly messy. The filling seeps out as you eat it, leaving you with very sticky hands. It made me feel a bit like Paddington getting covered in marmalade.

Price: £2.98 for 4 (74.5p per pie)
Value for money: 2/5
Taste: 3/5
Overall: 2.5/5
These did have a lot of potential, but unfortunately the frangipane to mince pie filling was way off. The pies were dry and overwhelmingly tasted of almond. With a more evenly split, these could be right up there with the best.

Price: £2.75
Value for money: 4/5
Taste: 2/5
Overall: 3/5
If this is all your local Caffè Nero has to offer then it is a nice Mince Pie, but their Luxury offering is much nicer and well worth the price difference.

Price: £2.50
Value for money: 4/5
Taste: 3/5
Overall: 3.5/5
Our own Union Brew put in a strong candidate. Great pastry and good value for money. There might be no bells or whistles to this pie but it does the job.

Price: £3.50 for 4 (87.5p per pie)
Value for money: 3/5
Taste: 3.5/5
Overall: 3.5/5
These were very sweet, but the caramel mincemeat made for a nice twist on a traditional mince pie. They were also very big, so better value for money than some of the other supermarket offerings.

Price: £2.98 for 4 (74.5p per pie)
Value for money: 2/5
Taste: 4/5
Overall: 3.5/5
Another decent mince pie, but just a bit too sticky for me. This had a much better filling to topping ratio than Asda’s other offering though.

Price: £3 for 6 (50p per pie)
Value for money: 3.5/5
Taste: 4/5
Overall: 4/5
This is as perfect example of a standard supermarket mince pie. It’s very generously filled and nicely spiced. If you need a crowd pleasing pie, this is your one.

Price: £3.05
Value for money: 4/5
Taste: 4/5
Overall: 4/5
While this is on the pricey side, as cafe mince pies go this is a proper bit of luxury. The florentine topping is much nicer than Asda’s offering and the fruit was nicely flavoured. It’s also much bigger than most mince pies on the market.

Price: £2.60 for 8 (60p per pie)
Value for money: 4/5
Taste: 4/5
Overall: 4/5
This pie had the nicest pastry of all of the pies I tried, which is not a surprise from the Brownlow Hill juggernaut. They only lose marks as the mincemeat did leak slightly when stored.

Price: I’m a terrible journalist and didn’t ask for a receipt
Value for money: 3/5
Taste: 4.5/5
Overall: 4/5
Chester’s independent coffee gem Bean and Cole served me this absolutely outstanding mince pie. The pastry was the best of everything I tried this year. They had a wonderful handmade feel to them, but my one criticism was that it was ever so lightly over spiced.

£3.50 for 4 (87.5p per pie)
Value for money: 2.5/5
Taste: 5/5
Overall: 4.5/5
These pies are something special. The buttercream icing has just the right amount of brandy flavour, and the ratio of icing to filling was spot on. These were my absolute favourite out of everything I tried.
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