Pub Review- The Cambridge

It’s horrible and rainy again. The sun is setting earlier every day and the beer gardens of summer feel like a distant memory. With the seasonal depression chomping at the bit and deadlines looming, I must find solace in being sat in a warm and dry pub with a pint of beer in my hand surrounded by friends. Note to self, make some friends so I don’t have to keep going to the pub on my own.

I’m walking through Abercromby square, and the Cambridge pub stares at me seductively, beckoning me into its doors with a boozy smile. I do feel a whiff of academic guilt as I sit here with a pint of Denmark’s finest golden fizz slop, but the wall art in the Cambridge assures me that “Today’s homework is drink beer”. The Smiths are playing over the speaker at a respectful volume as I sit in this pub on a Tuesday afternoon whilst I turn a blind eye to my Spanish assignment which is due in little over a week (I’m sorry Mariana but I really wanted a drink). With my pint in hand, I think to myself and smile at the free will which I am currently exhibiting, regardless of the encroaching academic guilt. Some may argue that the fame has gotten to my head and that I am sacrificing my health, academic future, and financial situation for my adoring readers, but I bear no thought to those heretics (by these heretics I mean my very worried family and friends).

The Cambridge pub is the more successful twin of the now deceased Oxford pub (whose husk can be found a stone’s throw away from the Yoko Ono Lennon Centre) and sits in the heart of campus, just off of Abercromby Square and toward the direction of Tudor Close. A pub in the centre of the university is in constant competition of the other campus booze hubs such as the Sphinx or the Augustus John. This being said, the small and plucky Cambridge puts up a good fight against the other arguably more preferred student pubs. With its cosy seating, warm lights and faux greenery, The Cambridge certainly is not anything to turn your nose up to.

As is customary for a pub review, I shall list the draft beers available at the Cambridge but this time as anagrams because lists are boring. Apologies in advance for some of these

Neil Cok
More Titi Barr
1646
Roe Pin
Dong’s tuft works bar
Grab Crels
Cher’s gold hat (T)
Guess In
HOA! Lob pig pin!
Light rain god (w)
Rae: Beeer & Mead Girl

(Answers at the end of review)

As Birmingham airport duty free’s finest offering enters my now decaying lungs, I say a quick hello to the Pub Squirrel- yes, the Pub Squirrel. It seems to hang around outside the pub begging for KP nuts, which adds some much-needed character to this chain offering from the Marston’s brewery. Though it is a great pub, I do always find myself vaguely dissatisfied with any sort of boozer linked to a wider corporate beer mammoth such as our friends over at Greene King or God forbid Rob Gutman’s 1936 Pub Co (I will be getting to him in a later review don’t you worry). The fact it is a chain does not hugely detract from the solo pinter’s pilgrimage as this tends to result in some very reasonable pricing.

It costs three British Pounds Sterling for a pint of Carlsberg all day every day, which is a new offer as of a few weeks ago which makes me greatly happy. Getting suitably merry for about twenty quid is a gift in the current beer economy of this dreary island in which we find ourselves. There are also offers of three bottles for £8.75 and Holland’s pies for £3 each, with the choice of Chicken and Mushroom, Steak or Cheese and Onion. Though you would be cavorting with Pukka pie’s rancid cousin, the offer of hot pies at the pub is ideal for those planning to go on a beer marathon here. It is the little things such as this that makes me enjoy a swiftie or two in the only pub on campus not yet invaded by the insufferable cashless gimmick which has consumed the rest of the university.

I rate The Cambridge a 7/10- This pub really isn’t much to write home about, but it does have everything you want. I feel cooked for calling the place out as mid, but as I grow more chopped and unc, the more delulu I become. It doesn’t give me the ick, but it doesn’t hit different. (this brief passage was for my younger readers). It’s not special but it really does the job. It’s on campus. It’s cheap. The staff are sound. But it just is very middle of the road.

Hemley recommended

Answers to the anagrams (apologies once again for the quality of these anagrams)
Neck Oil
Birra Moretti
1664
Peroni
Strongbow Dark Fruits
Carlsberg
Thatcher’s Gold
Guiness
Hobgoblin IPA
Wainright Gold
Pedigree Amber Ale

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