20th June 2022
As horribly pessimistic as it sounds, with love comes the potential for heartbreak. It’s almost as certain as death and taxes but for some, it’s a feeling worse than anything in the world.
With Valentines Day having come and gone, I thought it would be good to create a little safe space for those struggling at the moment with a broken heart.
Throughout the past few weeks, I’ve asked students to share the biggest tips and advice that got them through heartbreak during uni. I received an overwhelming amount of responses, with the help of uniofliverpoolmemepage on Instagram and social media. Hopefully, some will resonate with you as much as they did for me!
“Don’t compromise your self-worth for someone who can’t even define the meaning of it”
“I think the best advice would be to realize that all the time and effort you put into them could now be spent elsewhere and into looking after yourself. I found it easier to think about uni work and have fun with my friends. There will be a lot of times that you think of them and it’s not easy, but it’s important to keep active and change your life up a bit because you’ll be stuck in a cycle of being in your room and doing the same thing everyday”
“Change your environment, keep yourself distracted, don’t rush into another relationship”
“Find happiness within yourself, treat yourself to everything younger you would’ve wanted. Surround yourself with friends who love you and remember that time will heal”
“Spend as much time with your friends and make memories with them but also, let yourself cry and feel the emotional side of heartbreak. Let yourself have the low moments but try and pick yourself up too”
“I think it’s a matter of just understanding that it will get better with time. There is no way to fix it or stop it. Just accept that with time it gets better and one day you’ll wake up and realise you’ve moved on”
“Cry and mourn the loss. Get drunk, have ice cream and cry some more. Then hit the gym and only start dating again when you are ready. There is no time limit on how long it takes to get over it but do start again at one point”
“Fall back in love with the things you lost touch with when you got into a relationship. Recently, I was left, but I noticed that during the relationship, I wasn’t practicing my guitar as much as I usually would — mostly because relationships take up a lot of your time, and you don’t realise how much you sacrifice to give your partner your full attention. So, since he left me, I’ve been picking up my guitar more and slowly relearning how to love myself and my interests”
“Be in a safe environment (e.g. go home if uni doesn’t feel like home) and let your feelings out. Journal. Walk. Speak to people you trust. Be around people you trust”
“Do not message your ex or stalk their social media, do no reminisce and try to focus on the negatives about them and the relationship. Do not turn to drugs and alcohol, and do not sleep with someone else unless you are ready. Just after the breakup vent to your friends and/or write down your thoughts and feelings into a diary. Remember that the emotions you have about a breakup will ebb and flow, you won’t be truly over it for months to even years. Put yourself out there, make new friends and try new experiences. Find a new passion and immerse yourself in that. Exercise regularly, meditate and work to improve your mental wellbeing. In short, process the breakup. Why didn’t it work? Why weren’t you and your ex right for each other? What can you improve in next relationship? Then, move on and distract yourself from it”
“Going back to them is the worst thing for your heart. It might feel good at the time but you ended for a reason and you’ll cause yourself so much pain in the future”
“Surround yourself with positive and up lifting people! There’s nothing worse than being around people who put you down or tries to discredit your response in your time if need. It’s your heartbreak and it will take you as long as you need to deal with and nobody else can tell you otherwise”
Again, it sucks. Like, it really really sucks and there is no worse feeling, but it’s probably good to realise that you are not the only one who has ever felt this way and the healing process does end with you being, well, healed. With that said, remember, it’s ok to not be ok! Look after yourself, be surrounded by positive people and have that tub of Ben & Jerry’s if you want to.
Thank you to all of the students who participated!